not I but Christ; not us but the prayers! - one meaningful thing I did today (30-day challenge)

The title is pretty self-explanatory, but just to have a certain background against which the title may "shine out"... we human beings are amazing "creatures" - always developing, accumulating information and knowledge, growing, etc. We learn to walk and to speak(as babies), we learn to read, write, exercise, have performances in the classes we're interested in, etc. We are being trained to be "better people" our whole life. We go to kindergarten, grammar school, high school, university, post-grad, Ph. D, post-doc... all these things we do to be trained to know, to know how to do things, to invent, to be someone...

Sometime during our life the Lord Jesus, the Immense Magnet in the universe, attracts us to Himself and captivates our attention - we believe into Him and are captivated by His charming beauty(Heb 12:2 + note). When we are regenerated, something interesting happens - we receive another life, even another Person into us! Until now we decided to do, say, be things - but now there's another Person, Jesus Christ, living in us! He is "bothering us" and "speaking to us", giving us life and peace - or giving us the sense of death / uneasiness / unpleasantness when we are in some places or do some things that the Lord doesn't like! We who used to do "whatever we want" now listen more and more to this Wonderful One within us.... - and this brings me to,

Not I But Christ; Not Us But The Prayers! - One Meaningful Thing I Did Today

As believers in Christ we daily learn that if we turn to the Lord within, if we exercise our spirit, we get more LIFE and we become more like Him! So we choose to turn... There's conflicts between us and the Lord - we hold our ground, choose things according to our pleasure and preference... loose the Lord's presence - then return to Him and repent + confess... fail again, make mistakes + return to Him... until there's a choice to be made - just like Paul said in Gal. 2:20,

I am crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who lives, but it is Christ who lives in me! And the life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

More and more in our daily life and in our experience we have this deeper realization - Lord, no longer I but Christ! I want to enjoy You and experience You to such an extent that the old self is crucified, even my person without Christ is on the cross, and Christ is the One who lives in me! Christ organically replaces me to live in me! But it is still I who live - Christ is NOT "using me as a mindless robot to do His will" - NO! I still live - I live in faith, in the organic union with the Lord! This faith is not of me - it is of the Son of God, who loved me and just gave Himself up for me!

The Lord will get us to the point where we realize that IT IS STILL I WHO LIVES - though we love the Lord, we love the Word, we love spending time with the Lord, it is still Stefan who lives, not Christ! When the Lord shows us this, we desperately pray and give ourselves to Him, and we learn to give Him more ground in us, allowing Him to make His home in our hearts... - until little by little, it is "some of me and some of Him", "less of me and more of Him", "none of me and all of Him". Christ WILL be formed in us; Christ WILL live in us, and Christ WILL be fully expressed through us - today we are learning to cooperate with Him in this....

On the other hand, in working for the Lord, coordinating in the church life, serving the Lord in different practical services, helping with the children of the young people, serving with the students, etc - in all that we do for the Lord, He wants us to FIRST PRAY. The younger we are in the Lord, the more full of natural strength we are to do things for Him. More and more though, as time goes by and the Lord is faithful to speak to us and expose us, our natural strength and natural capacity - in His mercy - is running out and is being exposed to the uttermost as being useless to Him! And then we come to the conclusion, I CANNOT DO THIS, I CAN'T SERVE THE LORD!

This is going from one extreme to the other - from "I can do this - bring it on!" to, "I can't do it, I give up!". What the Lord wants us to realize is that yes, we can do it, and no, we can't do it! First of all, we need to PRAY! Before we do or speak anything for the Lord, we need to pray. Why do we try to work so much(and yet accomplish so little) when we can accomplish much more by our prayer than by our working!?! What are we trying to DO FOR THE LORD? He is Almighty, He can do everything - what can we do for Him? It is an insult to the Lord to try to do something for Him without first consulting Him and praying to be one with Him....

When David in the Old Testament wanted to build God a house, God told him that He wants to rather build Himself into David first and then what comes out of David(Solomon) will build a house for God. First of all, we need to be thoroughly mingled with God by praying ourselves into God. And then, once we are in God, one with God, we can do something for God - and this is actually God doing something in us and through us. So then it is No Longer Us, but the Prayers! We pray ourselves into God, we pray God's prayers which are put in us, and we pray out God's will to be Done! We execute God's will on earth by uttering the prayers that He need to move on earth! Wow...

<< the above is just something I realized today while I was doing my job at work (and I realized that it is STILL STEFAN WHO LIVES, NOT CHRIST) and as I was walking home after the home meeting (and I realized that IT IS SO MUCH OF ME TRYING and not so much of praying...). So today I want to choose the Lord - to be infused with Him and mingled with Him to the point that it is Christ living in me! Also, why try to do so many things - which things, by the way, need to be taken care of - when you can call a brother and pray together to be built up into the Triune God and be mingled with Him!?! >>
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This article may be one of the last ones on this theme - on this challenge - since I have to "change the challenge", the 30-day period is almost up now... What do go for next? On the one hand I have been encouraged by all the testimonies and sharings and comments of all the readers - either here or on twitter or via facebook - to go on... But I think I want to go for something a bit different but on the same topic kindda... What about... "One London Picture (with description) + One Verse I enjoyed today(with a short sharing)"? - I am eagerly waiting for your comments on this matter - I want your opinion / feeling on this(that is, if you have read the entire article until down here)!

contacting God in our spirit and confessing our sins(college meeting) - One Meaningful Thing I Did Today (30-day challenge)

Even though the university has not yet started in the UK - it starts on the 1st of October - today we had our first "monthly college meeting" with the students and A level saints + the burdened saints. So good to be together again and see the saints! It is so refreshing and revitalizing to meet with the saints at the end of the week, even on a Friday night. You may be tired, filled with all kinds of stuff, wearied, or even feeling wore out... but then you get yourself into the meeting and the next thing you know you praise the Lord and enjoy Him with the other God-men who "call on the name of the Lord out of a pure heart"(2 Tim. 2:22).

If it would be you, what would be the first thing you need to get into and emphasize, when it comes to "working for the Lord", "serving the Lord", "preaching the gospel", or even in doing your best to do something for the Lord? It may be some special skills or guide on how to speak to people, maybe some more Bible verses to memorize, some more Bible knowledge, some organizing of things, practical matters, organizing an event.... Well, we started today as Christians on the Campus - that's right, we are Christian Students at University :) - with getting into,

A Deeper Understanding of Prayer - Confessing our sins and Contacting God - One Meaningful Thing I Did Today

What is prayer? Is prayer just asking God for things or telling God to do things for us? Is prayer just bringing our problems to God? Is the real meaning of prayer being us talking to God and Him listening to us? Is prayer a one-way conversation where we talk to God about anything? Why is prayer so important? ... tonight we saw a deeper meaning of prayer - as brother Nee said,

Why do we work so much and pray so little when we can accomplish much more by our prayer than by our work? 

Before we do anything for God, we need to pray! Our work needs to issue out of a life of prayer with the Lord. Instead of working much, we should pray much... but what is prayer? First of all, the real significance of prayer is to contact God in our spirit and to absorb God Himself! To pray is to contact God with our human spirit - since God is Spirit - and to absorb God(John 4:24). The first thing we need to know about prayer is that it is a matter of the spirit - our mingled spirit! When we want to pray, we just need to turn to our spirit! And that's where everything happens - in our spirit!

What we all notice is that whenever we turn to the Lord in our spirit, He shines on us and exposes us - we see how sinful we are, we see how much we live our life without the Lord, and we see how many things we do that displease Him. In the Lord's light in this way we can confess our sins - and the Lord is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from any unrighteousness(1 John 1:7-9). How can we pray to the Lord and absorb Him into us if we have guilt in our conscience - if our conscience accuses us of our sin? We need to break through - every morning we need to Confess Our Sins!

This is the first thing - we need to agree with the Lord's light when He shines on us! As human beings in rebellion against God and as sinners, we don't really like the Lord's light - we try to stay away from the light, from the Lord's shining, because it exposes us. But when we come to the Lord as we are, He shines on us and we can confess our sins! When we confess our sins, when we agree with what the Lord exposes, He forgives us, cleanses us, and He FORGETS about it! Praise the Lord, when it comes to "remembering our sins", God has "amnesia": He can't remember them anymore!

Confessing our sins is a matter we practice every day - so that we may have a clear conscience, a conscience void of offense. What we really want is to touch God and contact Him, to absorb Him and be infused with Him - and for this we deal with anything that's in the way! Once we touch God through prayer, through an intimate conversation with Him, we can receive His element into us! We then need to talk to Him - this is the real conversation with God! You can tell Him everything - He's your Friend, He's there to listen to you, to understand you thoroughly, and to comfort you.... And as we open to Him to "give Him our problems", He gives us more of Himself: He infuses us with His very element!

Praise the Lord - we can contact God in our spirit by simply confessing our sins and then conversing with Him! Sometimes in the morning or during the day we even need to tell the Lord, "Lord, make my heart happy in You! I'm NOT HAPPY, LORD!" - admit to it. We may put on a happy face, have a joke ready, something funny to say, but inside we're not happy. We need the Lord as JOY Himself to make this verse real to us "the joy of the Lord is my strength"(Neh. 8:10). The Lord will definitely listen to prayers like these,

Lord, make my heart happy in You, so that I may also make others' hearts happy in You! Lord, warm up my heart towards You that I may love You! I need You, Lord!

We just need to be open and genuine with the Lord. He knows us anyways - and He knows whether we try to cover up things or sugar-coat our prayer. We can't really lie to the Lord - even if we pass the "human lie-detector", the Lord knows our inner being, and He knows our heart. That's why we need to be honest with the Lord will bring about the Lord's blessing and His presence. The more honest you are with the Lord, the more honest and genuine you become as a human being.

And you know what? When you're honest with the Lord - just as when you're honest with your spouse or your best friend - He opens up His heart to you and tells you what's on His heart. How about that! All we do is agree with the Lord's light and open to Him, confessing our sins, touching Him, talking to Him, being in His presence... and He imparts His heart's desire into us! O, the prayers that we will pray then! Not just BOLD PRAYERS and COMMANDING PRAYERS, but even prayers that will move God's hand to accomplish His will! When we become one with the Lord in this way there's no limit to what the Lord can pray in us...

Treasuring the Morning Revival Time with the Lord - One Meaningful Thing I Did Today (30-day challenge)

This particular matter is in no way "special" or particular for a normal believer in Christ, since every morning, a normal Christian wakes up a bit earlier to spend time with the Lord! Right? O Lord Jesus, make us this kind of normal believers! This really should be normal - the first thing in the morning to contact the Lord, spend time with Him, enjoy Him, read the Word, pray to the Lord, pray over the Word... - just open to Him to enjoy Him!

It has become something of a habit to me - going through the training in FTTL (which I warmly recommend everyone!), then being in the church life, working, having responsibilities, serving with the young people and with the students, serving in the church life, being in the brothers' house - to have morning revival every morning. I treasure the Holy Word for Morning Revival and we recently went through The Crucial Elements of the Bible, the Central Line of the Bible, the Crystallization-Study of Isaiah, and now we are in the Crystallization-Study of the Psalms. Wow, every morning praying over the verses in the Bible - even while dressing up, brushing my teeth, cleaning, fixing a small breakfast, or... on the way to the bus! This brings me to today's topic of,

One Meaningful Thing I Did Today - Treasuring the Morning Revival with the Lord

As I was saying before, by the Lord's mercy and NOT from myself, somehow every morning I have a time with the Lord(it has been built up in the past 10 years!) - and I treasure it! Why bring it up now today? Well... last week we were in, The Excellency of Christ(as seen in Psalms 8), and this week we're getting into Psalms 15 and 16, so this morning I was excited about it: YES, a new week, a new topic, new Psalms....

BUT - there's always a BUT, right? - I don't know how this happened, but I realized that I need to do two important and urgent things before I left for work! Many times things happen - urgent things, important things, things that demand our attention - right when it's time to have morning revival! Most mornings you feel fresh and ready - especially after breakfast or after shower, but when you come to have morning revival, it's almost as if you're either too tired to do it, or too busy to do it. It's late, so you need to get going with the day - get a "fast food morning revival": a "doughnut pray-reading of the Word" and a "sip of reading the morning revival", "wiping our mouth with an Amen, Lord!" then run off to the things of the day!

O Lord Jesus... why do we need to have morning revival? Why do we need to be revived every morning? Or, to quote many young people I am around, Why do I HAVE TO have morning revival? When you're on your own, setting some time aside in the morning to wake up a bit earlier and spend time with the Lord - you pay a price you pay to meet your Beloved Lord Jesus! The Lord is so real, fresh, and living in the morning for you to touch Him! His mercies are new, and His compassions never fail(Lam. 3:22-23)! The Word of God which we read and pray over in the morning is a source of supply for the whole day! The portions in the Word and in the ministry which we enjoy in the morning time are being deposited into us and become a constant supply for the day, the week, and for our whole life.

And it's all because we PAY THE PRICE to wake up a bit earlier to spend time with the Lord. Or maybe on the way to the bus stop to go to school / work, you call on the name of the Lord + on the bus you read some verses / the morning revival. Or while you're on the tube as a small sardine compacted with the others around you - they read the newspapers or listen to music, but you inwardly call and outwardly read and re-read the Word / the morning revival. Or maybe you go for a walk or a run, and you open to the Lord, converse with Him, take some verses and muse + pray over, digesting them and chewing on them.

Or maybe... - it's up to you: you can experiment, try, and invent your own way in your own time, your own schedule, to touch the Lord! It is so important to touch the Lord first thing in the morning that you will treasure your time with Him more than your apportioned food! Yes, you're physically hungry, but you're more hungry and more eager to enjoy the Lord than to have some breakfast! Or maybe you have the morning revival / the Bible right by the cereal bowl / "the full English Breakfast" / your breakfast dish, and as you eat(physically), you really eat(spiritually)!

Coming back to this morning, even though usually I set aside 20-25 minutes of pray-reading the Word, musing on it, reading the portions, reading them again, praying over the main points, reading the outline, etc - however the Lord guides me - this morning I only had 5-10 minutes with the Lord! I was distracted - I took care of "those two urgent things", and time was up - I had to go to work! Then I realized - I need MORE of the Lord! Ooooo.... I need more of Christ! More FOOD! More of the Word! So on my way to work I continued to pray over the Word... at work I re-read the portion really quick... and something really precious came out -

Who may sojourn in God’s tent? Who may dwell with God on His holy mountain? Only Christ is qualified!

How precious it is that we can have a time with the Lord in the morning! I am learning every day to treasure my time with Him. Maybe even wake up earlier, spend more quality time with the Lord. Don't wait for inspiration, and don't wait even to "go to your desk to the morning revival book or the Bible" - start with the shower! Call on the Lord's name in the shower, ask Him to cleanse you with His blood and wash you in His Word just as the shower washes away anything of the old.... As you brush your teeth, why not muse on and pray within, Lord, what about my speaking? Sanctify and purify my speaking to others! You need to wash your hands - Lord, cleanse my doings and my deeds, sanctify my living! ... - there are so many little things you need to do in the morning, and you can enjoy the Lord / pray / do them with the Lord! O, Lord, our time with You in the morning!

Get some rest + the Prayer Meeting - One Meaningful Thing I Did Today (30-day challenge)

After that football yesterday with the brothers, my whole body is aching... and it's the same with several of the brothers, I asked them on facebook. For some reason, though we played football "with our legs", even our back (in the case of the older ones) and our arms are hurting... Football exercises or stretches some muscles in the body that one does even not know he has! But exercise is good... even though I was almost limping when I was walking the whole day today...

On Tuesday evening right after work I usually have approx. 1.5hrs of gym - and it's so good to exercise before you go to the prayer meeting! You get your whole body in gear, and while you are at the gym, you can also get your spirit into gear! The Bible says that "bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness profits for all things"(1 Tim. 4:8) - so even while you exercise the physical muscles, why not exercise the "spiritual muscle", the spirit, to either call on the name of the Lord, pray, say Amen to the Lord, listen to some spiritual messages or some hymns, or converse with the Lord! ... but today since I was so tired, I...

One Meaningful Thing I Did Today -
Get Some Rest + The Prayer Meeting!

I got some rest right after work! You know, it's really good to get some rest! The human body needs rest, and in this rest there's also the supply to go on! You can't just "push it" and "press on" until there's no more breath in you... even in the Lord's work, in serving the Lord in our spirit, we need to learn how to REST first, enjoy the Lord first, and then do something for Him with Him in oneness! So I got some rest, and even though it was just a couple of hours, it gave me strength :) I was advised by someone I need to get some more rest... but being a "young man", many times I tend to discard such "menial and trivial things" as "taking a nap"...

O Lord, I want to learn how to balance my living, my resting, my eating, my exercising, my spiritual exercise, my cleaning, my attitude, my relationships... only You can do this in me, Lord - keep me coming to You about all these aspects of my living! Lord, make Your home deep down in my heart, and be the Proper Human Being who Fulfills God's Plan in me!

And after such a wonderful rest, I made it to the Prayer Meeting! Especially as Tuesday night draws close, there are a million reasons, problems, and other things that come up and give you that feeling, Nah, maybe I shouldn't go to the prayer meeting today - I suddenly need to do this or that, to go there, do some shopping, etc. It's in all of us, and it happens all the time! It doesn't happen on Wednesday or Saturday night, but when it comes to the Prayer Meeting time, it's almost as if there's an invisible person who brings up things to hinder you to get there!

But once you "get your bones to the meeting" and you get together with the saints and start fanning into flame the gift of God which is in you, once you start praying, you have the deep realization that you can be one with the Lord for the advancement of His kingdom! We may pray for the students, the young people, the freshers' fair, the Amana Bookshop in Central London, or even for the personal needs of the saints - but in all these, when you exercise your spirit, you touch the reality of the Praying Christ! We pray - one with the Lord! In all our prayers we basically say,

Come Lord Jesus! Your kingdom come! Your will be done! We bring You this situation or that person - may Your perfect will be done! Release on the earth what has already been released in the heavens! Bind the strong man and release the captives! Bring in Your kingdom in us, in the church, in our city, and on the whole earth! We stand here on earth one with You, Lord!

I guarantee you, no matter how tired you are when you get to the prayer meeting, and no matter whether you may have fallen asleep during the prayer, or maybe you didn't pray too much - it is the greatest blessing to participate in the prayer ministry of the church, even to have the Prayer of the Age! What can we do more than pray one with the Lord for what is on His heart? Why would we work so much and accomplish so little when we can pray more and the Lord will accomplish so much more? (adaptation from bro. Nee). It is so good to be in the prayer meeting of the church!